Dave has a not so ordinary day

Today when Dave wakes up, he gets the feeling that today will not be so ordinary. Dave is very correct. Today will be a very unordinary day. When Dave wakes up, he feels very unordinary. Dave says very unordinary things to his teddy bear this morning. When Dave eats his breakfast his ham tastes very unordinary. "I wonder why everything is so unordinary today?" Dave asked himself. There was no reply because he was talking to himself. When Dave got on his motorcycle to go to work his motorcycle was very unordinary. It was painted fluorescent pink. "how unordinary." said Dave to himself. Oh well, a pink motorcycle isn't the worst thing in the world. So as Dave drove his motorcycle to work everyone pointed and commented on the pinkness of his motorcycle. Dave was very uncomfortable with his body and felt very self-conscious about the whole ordeal. When Dave finally arrived at work he thought work was very unordinary. The factory smelled like ham. Dave liked ham but the factory was supposed to smell like moldy croutons. "why does the factory smell like ham?" Dave asked his boss. "THE factory? This factory is not THE factory but A factory!" His boss replied. Dave does not know what to do so he decides to hug his friend Pecore. Pecore says to him "Si sono molto Dave non ordinario." and then hugs Dave back. Dave does not know what he said. Dave decides to go back to work tasting croutons. Today there were some very unordinary croutons. One of the croutons exploded. One of the croutons ate another crouton while Dave wasn't looking. One of the croutons assaulted another worker. Fortunately that worker was emo. A mommy crouton and a daddy crouton made baby croutons. The baby croutons ate ordinary croutons and then grew to make more unordinary baby croutons. Dave soon realized that at the rate things were going there would soon be no ordinary croutons left to feed the unordinary croutons. Dave did not know what to do so he asked his boss what to do. "Just go back to work I'm sure everything will be fine" Dave's boss replied. So Dave went back to his work area and found no ordinary croutons left and the unordinary croutons were eating Dave's lunch. Dave got very angry at all the croutons and decided to eat them all because that was his job after all. For some strange reason all the croutons tasted like ham. Dave liked ham but the croutons were supposed to taste like croutons, not ham. Not ham indeed. Dave's brain was going all ding-dong with all the unordinariness. Ding dong indeed. Dave decides to find out whats going on with his day. When lunch comes he gathers all his emo friends, nerd friends, sketchy friends, and miscellaneous friends. All of his friends discuss why today is so unordinary and everybody thinks that there must have been a problem with the nuclear plant next door to this factory. All the other crouton tasters had problems as well with the croutons reproducing and hurting workers but they did not eat the croutons because they did not like ham. "Ham" said Dave. "why does the factory smell and the croutons taste like ham?" Dave asks his friends. There was no reply. Dave decides to do some investigating to see why on earth all these strange things were happening. Dave decides to go outside. Apparently the rival town was bombing the industrial district of town and now the nuclear factory on the right side of Dave's salad factory and the ham factory on the left side of Dave's salad factory were both bombed and there was ham and nuclear waste all over the salad factory's roof. There was ham mixed with nuclear waste dripping into the salad factory since the nuclear waste was very corrosive. Dave decides that the problem is an evil salad god who put a curse on the croutons in the factory because his son croutoni was sick. Dave decides they must sacrifice 1000 croutons to him to fix the situation. Dave reports his findings to his friends and all through the afternoon they capture 999 croutons. Dave was disappointed that they only captured 999 and not 1000 because he thought the salad god would need 1000. There were no croutons left in the whole factory so they needed to come up with a solution. All the nuclear waste had melted the crouton 4000 which made all the croutons so they couldn't make more. After a long discussion with his friends they decided they would also sacrifice a peanut to make 1000. So they sacrificed 999 croutons and 1 peanut. I will not get into the detail of how this happened. After this event a number of workers were fired, but they left knowing they made the factory a better place by getting rid of the curse. So Dave went back home and for the rest of the day he watched TV and he didn't buy any cows, so after the curse on the factory had been eliminated the rest of his day was rather ordinary. So because this post has been labeled 'Dave has a not so ordinary day' then i suppose there is nothing else i can be writing about.