Dave meets a wahoo

Today when Dave wakes up there is a wahoo standing in Dave's bedroom. Dave is unsure why there is a wahoo in his room.
"get out of my room you wahoo!" says Dave.
"make me!" says the wahoo
"I'll make my cows come after you if you don't leave my room right now!" replies Dave
"I'll eat your cows before they touch me foo!" says the wahoo
"I'll beat you over the head with a homemade fencepost if you don't leave!" says Dave (Dave is starting to get annoyed at this point)
"Homemade fencepost? I'll beat you over the head with a real fence post!" replies the wahoo
"Well do your fenceposts always carry around sharp objects for purposes left unknown?" asks Dave
"Huh? your just as much of a wahoo as I am!" replies the wahoo
"I'm no wahoo foo!" says Dave
"neither am I!" replies the wahoo
"well then what are you?" asks Dave
"I am a salesman for wahooalert 4000" says the wahoo
"Now that was just a test to see how prepared you are for wahoos. I am not really a wahoo, but if I was a wahoo you might be dead right now. Wahoos are a dangerous problem in todays economy, and you should be prepared. With wahooalert 4000 you can easily kill off any wahoos nearby with its taser bomb. When you go to bed you just arm the machine with the big red shiny button and you can sleep at peace knowing that if any wahoo comes he will be executed on the spot. The wahoo machine also comes with a wahoo cremater to cremate the dead wahoo and send his ashes to his family. And that's not all of the dealio.. When you buy the wahooaloert 4000 you get 5 whole paper towel squares made of super absorbent paper for free free free! And that's not all.. when you buy the wahooalert 4000 you get 10 whole paper towel squares for no money money money! This is a deal no one can refuse! for only 421 easy payments of $342 you can get the wahoo alert and 10 paper towel squares!!! This machine is worth over $1000 and you only have to pay $340 a few times!!! What do you say? Do you want to buy the wahooalert 4000???"
Dave immediately signs up. "soo, is this my wahooalert 4000 here?" asks Dave, looking at the machine. "yes of course" answers the salesman. Dave is very happy to get this wonderful opportunity. The salesman leaves Dave's house. Right after the salesman leaves a wahoo comes running in the door screaming nonsense and tom-foolery. Dave presses the big shiny red button. The machine makes a funny sound and a 150 cal machine gun pops out of the top and proceeds to empty 200 rounds into the wahoo. Then the machine makes another funny sound and a nuclear powered flamethrower pops out of the left side and melts the little bit left of the wahoo. Then the machine makes another funny sound and wheels pop out and transport the wahooalert 4000 over to the wahoo and vacuums him up. Just then the wahoos crazy mother in law comes in the door but the wahooalert 4000 grows legs and runs over and karate kicks her back out the door following her with a rocked propelled grenade shooting out of the wahooalerts sole. Dave is very impressed. That day Dave arrives late for work but he has lots of fun telling all his friends about his wahooalert 4000 and all the wahoos he had met. There was a new guy at work that day. He was a very suspicious character. Very suspicious indeed. Dave decides to tell him his address. Dave is safe because of his wahooalert 4000.